it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
