it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just high enough for therapy.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
