Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I didn't shave. On purpose
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
