Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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