i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
babies were throwing up all over the place
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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