just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize