What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
