Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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