How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
