whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
