dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
