I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
