Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
