oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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