The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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