He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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