she was so not down for the gang bang
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
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I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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