If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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