dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
