Apparently you make a good broom.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
