i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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