In America we eat man semen.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
worst night to have a conscience
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
