eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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