At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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