God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
