yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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