just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
