she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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