I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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