Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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