like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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