turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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