I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
