he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
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I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
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"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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