He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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