How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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