She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize