quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
