even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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