you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
