Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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