Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
