TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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