You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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