you would pick up someone in the library
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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