Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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