they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize