I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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