i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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