Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
