we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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