You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
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