whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
