somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
