That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
