His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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