If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
