I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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