he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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