So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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