I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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