you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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