Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
