Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
