She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
