I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
